Gender Swap

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
'Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through.

So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.

Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes,

Fed them breakfast,

Packed their lunches,

Drove them to school,

Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,

Took it to the cleaners

And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,

Went grocery shopping,

Then drove home to put away the groceries,

Paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then, it was already 01P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry, vacuum,

Dust,

And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.

Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper,

He cleaned the kitchen,

Ran the dishwasher,

Folded laundry,

Bathed the kids,

And put them to bed.

At 09 P.M .

He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.

I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.

Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.'


This has been voted Women's Favorite Blog of the Year!

President

From the beautiful Algarve, bonjour les farfashistes. Ici le climat est superbe, 20 degres et ensoleille. I follow with great interest the emails re the Thusday gettogethers. Felicitations aux organisateurs.

Maintenant que le Anba Barsoum est en Egypte, je suis sur que le Kommos Adel remplit les taches d'aviseur spirituel. Bon courage Adel Bey (le nouveau Gueddo et futur champion de Tawla).

Galal, j'ai promis des photos et c'est pour bientot Inchaallah.

Amities a tous les farfashistes.

Cordialement

Le President

The Kiss

A very Beautiful woman was walking on the roof of a building and she fell down. On her way falling down, an American man catches her

She says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life;

I'll do ANYTHING for you..

The man says: 'Okay then,kiss me.

She says: 'You PIG!! NEVER!!

So he says:'FINE!' and he drops her down...

So she's falling and screaming...

Suddenly a German man catches her in the air from his balcony

She says:'Oh thank you, you saved me; I'll do anything that you ask...

' The guy says: 'Fraulein, kiss me.'

She replies: 'Oh you nasty pig!!!NEVER!'

So the man says: 'Fine!!!' and he also drops her down again.

She's falling and thinking that it was better if she kissed one of those men and now she's going to die.

Suddenly, Egyptian man catches the woman from his balcony,

She says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life, I'll kiss you!!'

The man replies: 'Astaghfar Allah' and he drops her!!!!!!!!*

Nouvelle maladie mortelle

Le premier homme dit:
- Moi, je suis mort du cancer, et vous?
Le deuxième homme répond:
- Moi, j'ai fait une rupture d'anévrisme: foudroyant!

Alors le troisième homme leur dit:
- Moi, je suis mort du Zavu...

Les deux autres le regardent d'un air dubitatif:
Qu'est-ce que vous appelez le Zavu? Vous ne confondez pas avec le Zona?
- Non, pas du tout répond le troisième. J'étais au lit avec l'épouse de mon
meilleur ami et il nous zavu!

The English Language

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox
becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose
should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is
houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan
be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet and I give you a boot, would a
pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of
booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would
never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we
never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine:
she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England .

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down. and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother is not Mop ?

TWO GLASSES OF WINE

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of
him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the
golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it
was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, t he sand filled up everything else He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

Th e professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space
between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things;
your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite
passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained,
your life would still be full."

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and
your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your
time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things
that are important to you."

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with
your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to
dinner. Play another 18. Do one more run down the ski slope. There will always be
time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls
first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no
matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of
glasses of wine with a friend."

La rousse qui masse le vieux nègre

Une belle résolution à prendre pour 2008