You know you're Egyptian raised in Montreal if/when..

· You know what "Adonis", "Byblos" and "Challal" are.

· There's a pack of "Leb" or Pistachios in your house, right now.

· You've had peanut butter and jam sandwich on chami/Pita bread.

· Your friends complained that you have no "real bread"

· "Fool" just doesn't mean the same thing anymore.

· Your life took on a whole new meaning when you found out what chicha actually was, and from that day decided to pay closer attention to the ornaments of your house.

· You know at least 3 families that live in Ville St-Laurent

· People will guess that you're Italian, Greek, Armenian, Jewish,
Lebanese, Quebecois... but not Egyptian.

· You have trouble finding a member of the opposite sex whose parents don't know yours.

· You know that "Yalla on s'en va!" simply meant that you've got a good 20 minutes left before you even begin to leave.

· There's a Nabil SOMEWHERE in your family tree / You are Nabil.

· You've been on a vacation at the same place at least 4 times.

· You've experienced at least one new year's at the Sheraton Laval.

· You actually thought at some point that "Teta" and "Geddo" were your grandparent's real names.

· There's is/was little set of pyramids in your living room, a Nefertiti statuette and a Backgammon set.

· That backgammon set weighs more than a small child.

· You know that "Tric-Trac", is not a disease.

· Your parents' friends speak of you in the third person when even when you're actually in the same room as them; "Ton fils il sait parler l'arabe?" / "Ta fille elle sait parler l'arabe?". [edit: I actually have one relative who used "T'EHKI ARABI YA KHAWAL?!"]

· You've been assigned to the "kid's table" way passed your teens.

· You've got a relative nicknamed fifo, louli, loulou, jijo, fifi, foufou, kiki, zouzou, didi, lili, zaza, mimi, lilo....................

· ...not a SINGLE letter in the said nickname appears in their real name.

· You've called somebody to come rescue you from the basement of a family gathering.

· You've escaped from one of your own family gatherings.

· You've drafted a bullet-form list for your parents outlining how the VCR/DVD/Computer works.

· Your parents have lost that list.

· They've actually lost it more than once..

· An incident can happen in your home and you could be 100km. away... but somehow it's still your fault. You also have to come home RIGHT NOW.

· Not "Cote-Vertu"... "Cote VertCHU"

· You can't seem to find the humor in the name "Sheriff" / You are Sheriff.

· You've taken a phone message for your parents and fulfilled the basic requirement of writing down the phone number, yet they expect you to know why that person called and all sorts of other details as if you had a two hour conversation with them.

· Choices... weren't really choices:

- Tu veux venir avec nous ou non?
- Non...
- NON!!! TU *DOIS* VENIR. VA T'HABILLER.

· Corn on the barbecue.

· You were doomed forever when The Bangles released "Walk Like an Egyptian" in the 80's.

· For some reason, every egyptian party that you DIDN'T attend with your parents, has turned out to be the greatest night EVER. And you know this because your parents come back telling you one or all of the following things:

- "Tu aurais du venir, il y a avait plein de jeunes de ton age."
- "Tout le monde a demande de toi."
- "Tu aurais du venir, c'etait bien"

· Your parents have "threatened" to clean your room if you don't.

· Your relatives have almost injured people on the beach while playing "racquet".

· You know that none of the players of the said "racquet" will go get the ball if it goes out of bounds: they'll wait you out until the tide changes if they have to. VA CHERCHER!!

· You're positive that your parents have no idea what a mood-swing is.

· Kitchen containers 101: "Blanc" and "Transparent" are the same thing, good luck.

· You've heard one of those Arabic stand up comedy tapes where the jokes are like... 3 words, and then, a crowd laughing for 5 minutes.

· You're perfectly capable of eating pickled stuff at any time of day.

· You know that the markup on the Hummus and Baba Ghannouj being sold in grocery stores is a heresy.

· People ask you why you speak that "weird french" with your parents. You give them the story if you're feeling up to the task that day..

· Egyptians: the best dressed people at "Cabane a Sucre".